; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
