Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
