Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
