I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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