you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
