need another drink. this is the easiest way
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
