Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's never too late to be topless.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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