He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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