Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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