How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
