Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
