i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
