Dual....:-)
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
