But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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