i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
