Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
