I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
two words...techno handjob
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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