Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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