I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
