they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
