I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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