i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
