Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
