Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
