you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
