PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It's just like the Real World with babies
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
