he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
