Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
