Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
