Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
