What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
