Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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