Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
