I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My vagina is officially offended.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
