chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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