Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Sober January is a disaster.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
