you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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