all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
