Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
