I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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