i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I am available for nakedness
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
