I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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