Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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