dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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