i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
