trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
