When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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