woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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