Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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