i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
