i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think weed is turning my hair brown
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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