Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
is wine microwaveable?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
