I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
