Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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